By Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar | Posted: July 20, 2020

Someone asked me, “There are three types of people in my life. First, my friends who genuinely wish me well. Secondly, my enemies whom I know I have to stay away from. However, some people pretend to be my friends but every time I succeed they try to pull me down. These people cover their true personalities so well that we see their true colors after the damage has happened. How do we protect ourselves from such people?”

I asked them, have you made some mistakes? You have, unintentionally or out of ignorance. Mistakes have happened through you. Just imagine if someone labels you or holds onto your mistakes for your whole lifetime. Would you like it? No! Just remember one thing. If your time is good, your worst enemy will come to your help. If your time is bad, even your best friend behaves like an enemy.

Friends, enemies, and time

There are not two or three types of people, only one type. The cause of your problem is time, not people. That’s why the Sanskrit expression goes, “Whatever our quality of time is, that’s how our experiences in the world will be.” 

Better not to label people. People’s behavior changes. Their understandings change, and in fact, if you just peer into them, there’s nobody there. It’s space. Don’t think there’s a solid somebody sitting, manipulating, trying to grab everything. No! You’ll see them as poor creatures, helpless. 

The whole universe is filled with puppets in the hands of the unknown power. In India, it’s said that the whole world is a puppet show. In a puppet show, who’s there? Only one person. There are threads hanging from all of the 10 fingers. The puppets are hanging from all 10 fingers; if you look behind the curtain, what appears to be 10 people is only one person.

One person is moving all 10 fingers so that you’ll see a drama happening. So if you recognize the one person, you’ll start smiling and laughing. Nothing can shake the peace within you. Nothing can take away the tranquility, bliss, that is yours. 

How to be skillful and not lie

There’s an ancient saying, “Speak the pleasant truth. Don’t speak unpleasant truth or pleasant lies.” This is enough to make you confused. This means you have all options; it opens up the whole avenue of speech. To be spontaneous, sensible, and sensitive, you also need to be intuitive. 

In day to day life, you all use skills! Every mother uses skill to persuade her child. Children use it to persuade their parents. Don’t they? They look at your mood; if you’re in a good mood, then they quietly make their requests. If your mood is upset, you’ll say no. If your mood is good, you’ll say yes to them, and they know it. The kids handle you. 

Your friends also know about these skills and so do you. Like your parents have, you skillfully handle different situations. All this can happen when your mind is calm and stable. If you’re ruffled inside or in great confusion, skill is a far-fetched reality. You’ll be nowhere close to it. 

How to differentiate intention from desire

Intention is the root of every action. Anything you do is preceded by an intention. Desire is that intention which is constantly there. An example of intention is just one thought: “I want to go somewhere.” And then you do it! This is an intention.

Desire is when you sit in the car and get so obsessed. “I want to go somewhere. I want to go somewhere. I want to.” You may not reach the place you want, but you might land up in the mental hospital instead. That’s desire. Desire is that thought which is ticking and which is stressing you. It isn’t allowing you to relax, not letting you be. 

Intention comes with the confidence that it’ll happen. ‘Yes it’ll happen, I’ll reach my destination.’ 

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