By Donavan Wilson┃Posted: June 12, 2019

Chaotic happenings have taken over the news. Life in America consists largely of Twitter fights that get louder every day, as President Trump’s social media obsession becomes a prime target on the television outlets. While verbal conflicts escalate at home, he and others woo brutal dictators of autocracies overseas. But most of us would prefer leadership to protect us, not simply to enhance their own domestic and international status.

In addition, there’s an outbreak of measles in America. Due to lower vaccination rates, a disease virtually eliminated over two decades ago is now gaining  ground in an epidemic-level resurgence. At this rate, we’ll soon need vigilance against chickenpox.

We’re facing a crisis in loneliness. Religious institutions, traditionally the glue that holds our society together, are losing influence. Social media, originally intended to foster connection, turns out to lessen human intimacy. Unfortunately, Facebook and Instagram only supplement human interaction, and cannot substitute for face to face friendship, though users seem to hope they can.

Where will I be when Kim and Kanye take over the country? In the end, what is keeping me from tossing everything aside and joining a monastery? I’m not looking for perpetual bliss or unending happiness; these ideals sound wonderful but unsustainable.

Although national issues worry me, I choose to turn my focus inward. Despite my stumbling mistakes, the best moments for refinement happen through self-reflection. The following are some useful ways in which I find the truest version of myself in a rollercoaster world:

Spirituality

Some folks feel disillusioned regarding religion. No one wants a sermon that focuses on judging and condemning their wicked ways. Lionel Richie wrote the lyric “Easy like Sunday morning” for a reason.

However, there’s something in our DNA that yearns towards something greater. I’ve been blessed to find solace at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Rockville, Maryland, and camaraderie at Opus Yoga in Gaithersburg, Maryland. These communities show me that God is both just and loving and we’re all God’s children.

Regardless of any individual’s faith, and the differences between many traditions, we’re all inevitably bound together by how we treat each other. Each religion encourages compassion, kindness, patience, and generosity, universal virtues which are essential to our society, and can be embraced by everyone.

Relationships

Are you available for the people who matter most in your life? I ask myself this whenever I need a relationship inventory. At times, I’ve sadly witnessed loved ones breaking others down and neglecting to build them back up. Ironically, individuals already face destructive forces in the world, including unrealistic societal demands. No wonder we’re all so exhausted.

Success, without sharing it with someone who matters, is hollow. At this point, I’m wondering if standards are unrealistic. The 9 to 5, 40 hour work week grind feels like a rat race for a reason. In the end, you can’t take your material possessions with you.

We need people to support us in success and sorrow. In addition, we need to do the same for others. Are we listening and paying attention during important conversations? Sometimes, our waning attention spans get in the way of mindful engagement. Instead, we produce cliché responses (i.e., “you don’t say”) or we talk over the person.

As painful as it is, I need people to hold me accountable or to call me when I’m going astray. I’ve grown as a person because certain people have pushed me. For some, all that’s needed is support and understanding of their feelings.

The challenge of change

We’re all works in progress. True, lasting change means growth and development by facing a variety of challenges. If fortunate, we’re skillfully adapting to life’s tests, to make progress, not perfection.

In this search for my authentic self, I must focus on the substantive and tune out the superficial. While we need to hone skills to make a living, we can’t ignore legitimate issues regarding the soul. As individuals, what we stand for and how we treat each other says a great deal about us. We have so many chances to celebrate our success and support each other in our trials. I must notice and make the most of these opportunities as I strive to be a better son, uncle, brother, and friend.

By recognizing the importance of facing challenges, healing relationships, and celebrating the essentially spiritual nature of human beings, we can make the world more harmonious and empower one another to change our country. Collective evolution can only happen when individuals evolve and take on leadership roles. Step by step, bit by bit, our lives and futures become less chaotic and more in tune with possibilities for peace and happiness, locally and globally.

A previous version of this article was published by elephant journal.

Donavan Wilson writes insightfully about culture, religion, spirituality, and politics, from his home in the Washington, D.C. area.