One of a parents’ worst nightmares is for their child to be involved in a school shooting. Parents have often revealed this fear to me, unbeknownst to them that I was once that kid, in that school. 

The irony has been palpable.

To their credit, it’s true. Having to run for your life in a school shooting IS a nightmare. A school environment is supposed to be a place where ideas flourish, where dreams start to blossom, and where students feel safe as they develop new skills. Hearing gunshots and seeing classmates bleeding on the ground puts a hard stop to all of that—especially, but not limited to those who had the misfortune of losing their life in such a brutal tragedy.

Looking back on my own experience, I often wondered why a single man carrying three semi-automatic guns might want to fire 60 bullets, injuring 19, and affecting thousands of lives forever. But wondering why has led me nowhere. These days I prefer to ask, How can I help? 

If you take a moment to scroll through the extensive list of school shootings in the US, we’ll hopefully agree that something needs to change. Not only to help the children who’ve been subjected to such violent acts, but also to help troubled individuals manage negative emotions, as a tool for prevention. We all deserve to live happy and healthy lives, and we all need support.

Along my 15-year journey since the Dawson College school shooting, I stand strong in my belief that SKY Schools is part of the solution. And today, on National Teacher’s Day, I’d like to share more about why I became a SKY Schools Teacher.

How SKY Breathing changed everything

It didn’t take long for me to realize that something internal shifted after that gruesome event. From day one, it felt as though a hard shell started to form around my mind, body, and spirit as a means of protection. The most basic of things began to put me on edge because I didn’t know where I could feel safe anymore. Afterall, my school was supposed to be a safe haven—but that all changed following the six full minutes of sheer and utter terror. From that moment on, my inner dialogue completely transformed into a voice I never knew.

Crowds of people running to catch the subway train…is it another shooting?
Strangers reaching into their pocket to grab something…is it a gun? (Nope, always a cellphone). The emergency exit isn’t clear…how will I get out?

I tried just about everything to shake off the new, daily fears that began to cumulatively surface just days after the school shooting happened. From cognitive behavioral therapy to shamanic death ceremonies to full-on repression. I couldn’t seem to find the right tools to cope and didn’t know how to deal with the thickness of such a traumatic experience. My support network also didn’t have the wherewithal to address the weight of the hardship I was feeling, and I was often met by a deep and grief-filled silence. It all felt very isolating, as though I was completely alone with my struggles with absolutely nothing to lean onto. 

It wasn’t until I learned the SKY Breath Meditation technique that I found deep, honest, and life-changing relief. All those tensions I’d been holding onto while living my day-to-day life in “fight or flight” finally began to dissipate—but not in a way that made me afraid. You see, when you’re living through the lens of constant threat, the thought of letting go is terrifying because it can cost you your life. 

But this? It was the release that I had been desperately seeking for over a decade.

Why did SKY Breathing work so well?

Over 100 studies conducted across four continents and published in peer-reviewed journals, including Yale and Harvard, have demonstrated a comprehensive range of benefits from practicing the SKY Breath Meditation technique. This powerful, rhythmical breathing exercise has been shown to generate incredible results:

Since learning SKY, I’ve discovered that there’s a powerful link between the mind, body, emotions, and the breath. Studies have shown that if you can learn to change how you breathe, you can directly change how you feel, and my experience has shown that to be true. Really true. 

If you want to dig into the subject a little deeper, check out this great TEDx Talk to learn more with a researcher who explores the science behind harnessing your state of mind with SKY. It’s fascinating!

How I forgave the school shooter

Thanks to SKY, not only did I learn to let go of this deeply traumatic experience and go on to live a very fulfilling and happy life, but I also managed to cultivate enough compassion to forgive the school shooter—something I never imagined possible nor ever aspired to doing.

Watch this 5-minute interview to learn a little more about my journey towards forgiveness:

Of course, SKY is not a magic trick. It took time to cultivate the habit of committing to a 25-minute daily practice to experience those benefits. In fact, it took me a full year of regular SKY practice to arrive at a state of true, sincere, and compassionate forgiveness. And once I did, I knew I had to share it. I couldn’t keep this to myself. Anyone who has gone through the horrors of a school shooting (or any trauma, for that matter) deserves peace. True peace. 

And SKY delivers.

Why I became a SKY schools teacher

When I finally came across the SKY Schools program, everything became crystal clear—this was it! 

SKY Schools is dedicated to providing youth with a healthy body, mind, and lifestyle, and SKY Breath is a pillar of the curriculum. This is done by offering young people physiological tools and life skills to manage stress and negative emotions, including but not limited to anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, and embarrassment.

From my perspective, offering the SKY technique in schools is genius. Not only can it help support the hundreds of thousands of students who’ve been in a school shooting, it can also help serve as a preventative tool for future generations. 

Sounds like a bold statement? 

Well, if we all learned to manage our stress and negative emotions in school, what would the world be like today? Take a moment to stop and really think about it. 

If we had all learned to breathe, rather than yell. 
If we had all learned to observe, rather than react.
If we had all learned to communicate, rather than fight.

The SKY Schools impact 🙌

So far, the SKY Schools programs have served over 129,000 students, teachers, and staff in 228 schools across the US. Their impact has been incredible! Here are the stats gathered in a large comprehensive study in a Newark, New Jersey high school:

All great stats, but did you see that one about violence infractions? 

A 90% reduction!! 

(Insert sounds of vigorous hand-clapping here : )

Wondering how that happens? Well, SKY Schools works in a sustainable way to transform school climates by engaging the entire school community, training administrators, school staff, parents, and youth (k-12) in SKY SEL (Social Emotional Learning) curriculum and physiological restorative practices. They prioritize prevention by reducing risk factors and increasing protective factors, promoting resilience and creating a culture of peace in schools, families, and communities.

Watch this video to discover how these practices have been integrated into the school culture at Freeport, Long Island:

And other school shooting survivors are benefiting too

During the SKY Schools Teacher Certification Program, part of my training involved organizing and teaching a course to students. Since the team was aware of my story, I was really glad to have received special permission to offer the course to fellow survivors of the Dawson College school shooting. Here are a few words from their experience:

“I have tried many different methods (yoga, other breathing exercises, wellness classes, mindfulness, therapy, meditation, medication, etc.) to battle and lessen the symptoms of my PTSD, anxiety, and depression. SKY has made the most noticeable difference in the shortest amount of time.”

“Always looking for new ways of healing, I was thrilled to join this course. It was incredibly moving to be in a small, intimate group of other survivors of the Dawson College school shooting. A sort of healing I had been longing for all this time.”

“After nearly two weeks of implementing this practice in my everyday life, I have already seen noticeable benefits. I am more grounded and have more of an ability to think of the future, rather than be bogged down by my past. When my overactive startle response kicks in, so does my slow and regulated breathing, the beginnings of a new automatic response system. Our bodies are resilient…and they know when something is good for them. They latch on to it, as mine has to SKY breathing.”

What if every school integrated meditation into the curriculum?

From the results I have experienced and the stats I have witnessed, I honestly believe that integrating SKY into the school community is a worthwhile pursuit. What a difference it would make if every child grew up with the physiological tools and life skills to manage stress, anxiety, and the myriad of negative emotions we all experience. Perhaps there would be more peace and far fewer school shootings in the coming generations. One could only hope. 

And of course, for the students, teachers, and staff who may have experienced such a violent and traumatic act, a program like SKY Schools can certainly breathe new life into the school community. It’s hard to keep walking down the same hallways, to see the new bullet dents in the floor tiles, and to sit back into the classroom where you once had to run for your life, with a few of your classmates now missing—forever. That’s way too much for young students to have to assimilate without adequate support. Coping tools for such school communities are an absolute necessity. 

Even in schools which aren’t dealing with the explicit trauma of a school shooting, devastating stress is ubiquitous in our school communities and education system. Violence of many forms remains common, and US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy has announced a youth mental health crisis. Rates of anxiety and suicide have increased dramatically in the last 15 years, and even more so since COVID. 

The time is now for strategies to support our youth!

Needless to say, I’m so incredibly grateful for the work that SKY Schools is doing, I know it makes a difference. Over the last 40 years, the SKY technique has also been taught to millions of people across 156 countries from every background imaginable. And time and time again, bright and shiny smiles are emerging—just like mine.

Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, the founder of the SKY technique has often said that outer peace is possible through inner peace. May we all do our part to stand up for peace, and in turn, experience a stress-free, violence-free world.

Get in touch with SKY Schools to breathe peace into your school community: skyschools@iahv.org