Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
What is Love? - 12 July 2012 - QA 3
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
The basis of all existence. All the cells in your body love each other, that is why they are together. The day they stop loving each other, it all disintegrates. Got it?
If there is one substances by which everything is held together and you want to give it a name, you can call it love. It is the basis of all existence. All the cells in your body love each other, that is why they are together. The day they stop loving each other, it all disintegrates.
Love is not all wiggly wiggly and mushy mushy, "Oh I can’t live without you, I love you so much", and so on. It is not that. That is just an emotional something. Love means (silence)… that is it.
Love is indescribable. You can’t describe it. And there is not a creature on this planet who doesn’t know it. From the insect to the lion, from a chicken to an enlightened person, everybody has experienced love. Love for life is what we think it is, but life itself is love. So see, through this knowledge, that the whole universe is love.
Love is not just an emotion, it is your very existence. The earth loves the sun, that is why it keeps going around the sun. The moon loves the earth, that is why the moon goes around the earth. Wherever there is a force, or there is energy, or a pull, or attraction, you call it love. And where there is repulsion that is also love in the opposite direction.
Why are you are drawn to somebody or something? It is because you love them. You see a cheesecake and you are drawn to it; you experience a pull, isn't it? You see a beautiful girl, or a girl sees a beautiful boy, there is a pull, and what do you call that? You call it love! Why? Because there is a pull, there is an attraction, there is a force. And that force is what manages the whole universe
Some places it is more obvious and some other places it is not obvious. The day the earth stops loving you, you will start flying. The earth loves you so much that the gravitational force keeps you glued to the earth. So love is that force in human life.
All the negative emotions are just a distorted form of love. In anger there is love. Ask me how? You love perfection and that is why you get angry. Greed is love. Greed is when you love something much more than life. When you love objects more than life, it is called greed. Hatred is love upside down. Fear is love upside down.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If there is wisdom in relationships, it does not take away freedom. If there is no wisdom, then there is no freedom. It is not the relationship that gives or takes away your freedom, it is lack of wisdom.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I think you have too much free time. If you are busy and you work hard, then you will get so tired that you will be waiting to hit the pillow. The moment you hit the pillow you will fall asleep. You either have too much free time or you are eating too much food; then obsessions and addictions come up. Too much food and sex are related. So, keep a watch on your food, keep a watch on your company and keep yourself very busy, especially at the age when the hormones play havoc. If you follow the language of moderation then you will be all right. When you have a goal, or something to achieve, then you do not think about sex. Just ask any student, during exam time are they bombarded with thoughts of sex? They’ll say no. For that whole month when they have to achieve something, their mind is fully focused on it. They have a bundle of books to read and to prepare. So engaging yourself in some creative activity is helpful. Pleasure always makes you run towards it first, and then later on makes you run away from it. This is its nature. First you crave for it and you go towards it, and then later on you go away from it because it becomes too much to handle. Yoga is that which makes you centered, it stabilizes you. When you are stable and centered, if pleasure is there, you enjoy it, if it’s not there, you don’t mind it. It does not occupy your mind. It’s not a craving that bothers you.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Expand your vision about yourself, about life and about this universe. This universe has been there for at least 19 billion years, and it is part of billions of galaxies. One amongst the billion galaxies is our Milky Way. So the Milky Way is actually very small. In the Milky Way, we have our solar system, which is the size of a dot in the Milk Way, and in that, there is our planet Earth, and in that there is you! One would have to take a lens to see you, and by the time they get to see you, you’re already gone (referring to the magnanimity of the universe in comparison with our existence). What is your life in comparison to the creation? In this multi-verse, planet Earth is so insignificant, and you are even more insignificant. Another factor is time. In so many billions of years, billions of people have walked this planet. There are seven billion people on this planet today, and many are being born every day and many are dying. Then what is your life? It’s like a blink of the eye, and you’re already gone! When you see your life from this bigger context, you realize that this is all nothing! You live for 80 years on this planet called Earth. Out of that, 35 years you spend sleeping, 10 years you spend in the bathroom, 10 years you spend eating, 25 years you spend working. The waking period in your life is so small. In that little time what is the point of saying, ‘Me, me, me?’ It is nothing! When you see life from a bigger context all the worries disappear and a new dimension opens up.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You don’t need to. A relationship should come from a space of contributing, not demanding, then it will be nurturing. In every relationship, if we think, “What can I take from this person, or get from this person” then it’s going to be very disturbing. But when you come from the attitude that, “I am going to be a part of this person, give whatever I can, and contribute whatever I can, to this person’s life”, then it lasts longer.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yoga, pranayama, meditation change these tendencies in you. It changes your nature. You know that you are not just the body; you are scintillating spirit. With the help of these practices, you find yourself elevated to another level.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You shouldn’t push them too much. You should teach them to relax. Music, meditation and some games will help. Take some time out to play games with your children, this is very important. Tell your children 'Compete with yourself. How you did last year, see whether you are doing better this year', that's healthy competition.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
See, if your relationship is based on personal need, it may not last long. Once the need is fulfilled, on a physical level or on an emotional level, the mind will look for something else and go somewhere else. If your relationship is from the level of sharing, then it can last longer. When you are looking for security, love and comfort from your partner, you become weak. All the negative emotions come up and you become demanding, and demand destroys love. If we just know this one thing, we could save our love from getting rotten.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Never mind, don’t worry! Don’t identify yourself with the thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts, they come and go. As long as you don’t act on them, you are safe. It takes time for your consciousness to be dispassionate and centered so such thoughts don’t occur to your mind. It doesn’t happen right away. You might have noticed, as you practice yoga, meditation and pranayama, these sorts of thoughts are fewer and fewer. Erotic and violent thoughts are fewer and fewer.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind. If you say, “Don't do it”, then the mind says, “Why? Let me do it!” The mind calls for rebelliousness. But if you say, “You can do it, only you won't get the results”, then you don't leave a chance for the mind to be rebellious, then it takes the knowledge in. I remember one dentist would tell kids who would ask ‘Why should I brush my teeth’, he would say, “No, you don't need to brush the teeth that you don't want, you only brush the teeth that you want to keep!” So, move from negative suggestions to positive ones, this is important. When there is strong bonding, then negative or positive suggestions don’t matter. It’s only when the bonding is not very strong that negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind.